Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
