I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
