I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
