How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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