Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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