doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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