Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
