Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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