Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
