Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
