I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
