We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
