Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
