Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
