I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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