he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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