people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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