so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
