She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
