D3 body, D1 cock
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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