please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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