so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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