Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
