I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
