just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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