she smelled like a LAN party
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So. Much. Porn.
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