her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
