okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
