My room smells like vodka and shame
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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