the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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