I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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