I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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