Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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