You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
