I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Come on in and take your pants off
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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