call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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