Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
