piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
