She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Can Purell be used as lube?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
