i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
