so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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