white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
