she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
