11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
