SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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