Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
