so that wasnt chicken after all
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
