walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
