Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
