wanna go halves on a baby?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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