no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
