the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
