I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
