Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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