I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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