Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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