So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
